I have a bit of a secret to share with those who are reading this. I lack confidence from time to time. Even when I sat down to think about topics for a blog post, confidence was at the bottom of my list. But I have a bit of a competitive streak and love a good challenge. So I decided to use myself as an experiment and see how I could build confidence in myself as a photographer photographing random strangers along the coast of Main Beach in my trip to Australia.
What Blocks Your Confidence?
As I was walking along the beach, I had all these ideas in my head of how I would initiate going up to a random person at 6:30 in the morning for a photo. I thought about the task at hand. What are my benefits to doing this and what are my excuses for not doing this? The opportunity was golden, literally golden. The morning sun was coming over the sea horizon and covering people in this beautiful light that I absolutely wanted to photograph. My motivation on building confidence was piqued.
But then there were my blockers. I was fearful that I would be rejected. I was fearful that I would upset someone so early in their day. I was overly concerned that I would be inconveniencing someone. As a people pleaser who has lived in Japan for 13 years, these worries were heavy blockers I needed to move out of my way. Getting to the root of these blockers, they are simply excuses and I’m making assumptions for others before they actually say no. The worst they can say is no. And no does not physically hurt.
I was one of those kids who wanted to do something trendy because everyone else was doing it. Following the current trends, I had to put myself into the mind of the many street photographers I’d see on Instagram who walk up to a random person and ask to take their photo. Confidence withstanding, I imagine for every interaction we’d see in the video, there might have been at least one or two or even several people who told these viral photographers no.
So I decided I was not going to let a potential NO get in my way. I hid behind my signature sunglasses and marched on to find the first person who I could muster up the courage to speak.
The second I put on my sunglasses, a man pops out of the water surprisingly like Daniel Craig’s 007, and my immediate reaction is to take the glasses off to really witness the scene in front of me. I caught his attention and I mentioned how much like 007 Daniel Craig he looked when he came out of the water. Funnily, he said his name was also Daniel. Armed with a positive response, I asked him if I could photograph him coming out of the water again. And to my surprise, he said yes and walked right back out.
I admired how comfortable he was with the idea that he was this confident suave international spy coming out of the water but in reality, he was just being his normal self enjoying the breeze and the lack of crowds nearing the ever-so-popular Surfer’s Paradise.
That feeling of triumph was quickly overshadowed by the need to get back to my safety point which was not being in the water and not taking up so much of Daniel’s time.
That strong motivation crept back again as the sun tucked behind a cloud and the light was perfect. So my fear of rejection quickly subsided due to my heightened motivation to find someone quickly. I was hanging on to that motivation for dear life focusing on my ideal conditions and not making any more excuses. I’m looking for that surprise YES because each encounter I make that person has the right to say no. I’m feeling myself creating self-fulfilling prophecies by leaning into their NO with my excuses and not truly valuing the beauty and the opportunity of the YES.
Why Do I Want to Talk to Random Strangers?
So a bit of a backstory on why I decided to photograph random strangers in the middle of a beach first thing in the morning.
I had this book called Authentic Portraits by Chris Orwig for a little over a year. I would walk by this book in my house, then move it to my studio and just keep walking by it. I’d open the book, flip through the pages look at the pictures, and then move on about my day kicking myself for not making time to read this intriguing book.
Knowing that I would have 12 days of vacation, I wanted to spend some reading this particular book and reading about how to make strong bonds and connections with people who I photograph. As an empath, I absolutely enjoy this style of photographing people. Understanding their story, their lives, their insecurities, their goals, and their fears and creating an authentic mirror of what that person has shared with me has been something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time.
Less fake smiles and more real depictions of a person’s soul. Seeing the multiple layers and intricacies of a person’s life beyond what people want us to see in a person’s image. I had the pleasure of talking to Chris at a conference and he struck me as someone who does look at the depths of a person’s story and considers deeply how to compose and frame that story into a photograph.
Onward Confidence
While I kicked myself for not talking to Daniel or the group of friends I’d photographed before him a bit more, I strengthened my resolve and continued to press forward to try again. And there I met two young men or as Aussies would say, blokes, walking towards me. They were walking in between two tire tracks made in the sand and were literally splitting the scene of a giant metropolis to the right and a serene beach and ocean to the left. This natural composition got me curious about who these two young men were and why they were walking along the beach at 7:00 in the morning on a Friday.
I gathered my wits and walked right up to those two blokes walking towards me and told them my intentions for a photo. Surprisingly, they agreed to be photographed for my confidence blog, AKA this very blog you’re reading. I really hoped I could make a strong connection with them both showcasing their real emotions and feelings instead of an awkward smile.
Focusing on really getting to know both men, I asked them what about their future were they most excited about. The man pictured above talked about being excited about creating strong bonds with his family and his heritage but was a little bit worried about what that would mean for him and what the responsibilities entail. Still, he said he was proud to get to do it and be sort of like the chief of his family. I asked more questions about his hobbies and things that he enjoys which were basketball, football (soccer), and Aussie tag, which I found out is like American flag football.
His friend was built like a rugby player and said as much in terms of his hobbies when I got to know him. He was very open-minded to posing a bit GQ Style for the photo and had a wonderful smile when he stood next to his soon-to-be chief friend.
Throughout the whole time I engaged with them I really tried to stay out of my head and be in the moment letting my natural curiosities come out. After a bit of time photographing each person separately, I finally got to my initial curiosity about why they were walking the beach so early in the morning. The man photographed above mentioned that because of the full moon the previous night it meant that the tides would be considerably high. The forecast had said the tides would be high around 8:30 in the morning and they were out early canvassing parts of the beach. They didn’t have any surfboards so I assumed they were going out for a nice morning swim on a Friday morning.
A Man of Nature
I felt in high spirits as the conversation I had with the two young men was such a rich rewarding and honest one. I hope to replicate similar connections with others who I’d encounter.
I made up with a guy named Simon who was standing with his board also waiting for that wonderful high tide after the full moon.
I cued up questions I was naturally curious about after we told each other a bit about ourselves. He was a born and bred Gold Coaster and was absolutely passionate about surfing I asked him what makes someone so passionate about waking up so early in the morning and putting your body through such strain before work.
He talked about the dichotomy of how man-made the Gold Coast has become yet juxtaposed with all the gorgeous nature and life. He talked about how much he loved nature and how being in the ocean and so close to dolphins was very rewarding and awe-inspiring for him. He talked a lot about his love for dolphins and how some are friendly and playful and even admire surfers as they too serve among the waves.
Later that day I talked to a mutual friend who knew who Simon was and had a bit of a laugh as she mentioned how much of a fixture on the Gold Coast he is.
Finally, I saw a man in pink avocado swim chunks doing some stretches. I had an image in my head that I really wanted to capture and wanted to ask him so I made a beeline for this man and straight up asked how I would love to take photos of you stretching and to please continue and he agreed.
Well, I didn’t want to get in his personal space to get the facial image I had in my head but I was grateful for the other images I could capture of him.
Happy with all that I had, I got on a rental bike and biked all the way back to my hotel. As I did I saw a man whose entire body was covered in tattoos and I immediately stopped my bike to ask him leaving zero time for second doubts or excuses.
He said no. But was really kind about it. And I respected the NO. Shockingly, I wasn’t discouraged but it did inspire a future photo session with someone who does in fact have full body tattoos. I keep the idea in my head for later so I can build upon it a bit more.
In Closing
I had to ask myself if I had accomplished what I’d set out to achieve overall. I’d say a resounding YES though it wasn’t at the level that I hope to be. While I hope that this experience flexes a few muscles of confidence in myself, I hope this journey, colors a clearer picture of the ebb and flow, rise and fall, start and Stop trials of maintaining confidence and maintaining motivation to complete a goal that resonates with you.
Perhaps one day I will set out to do something similar in Tokyo. In the meantime, I’m just happy to work on building confidence in a different space separate from the one I’ve become familiar with these past 13 years.
Building confidence is a muscle that you have to work on and constantly grow and I’m excited to grow it. Is there something that you wish to practice and slowly grow over time in your life?
